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Why do I have to be the bad guy?



Up until Rowan was born, Davin had a hard time being left with others. I would usually only leave him with friends who had kids his age, so he should have been okay. However, he would still have a teary separation, even if for only a few minutes. Just before Rowan was born, something changed and he decided that it was a lot of fun to be with other families after all. This was a huge relief because at that time I needed a lot of help and it was great to know that Davin was having a great time hanging out with other moms and kids. Davin’s perspective of other moms, however, is somewhat skewed. When he goes over to play, he has a great time. He isn’t reminded to do things like eat his dinner and he doesn’t have Mom to tell him that he is being naughty. However, when he comes home again, he has to be with the mean Mom who won’t let him play in the pots of dirt and won’t let him have chocolate milk all day long.
Then there is Dad. When Chris comes home from school, it is like an LDS commercial. An orchestral version of “I’m so Glad when Daddy Comes Home” breaks the scene as Dad (played by Chris Rees) enters the door. The shot cuts over to Child (played by Davin Rees) as he cries “Daddy!” They run together in slow motion and Dad swoops up the little boy into a big bear Daddy hug. Child says “Daddy, I love you!” over and over again. This really did happen tonight, I swear! Davin kept saying to Chris: “Daddy, are you okay?” and “Daddy, I love you!” What did Davin say to me tonight? “Mommy, you have fireworks in your hair.” Okay, so it wasn’t my best hair day ever. I gave up on hair today and put mine in a frizzy ponytail that grew frizzier by the hour. I guess his description was pretty accurate. (How can other girls pull off the messy girl look and I end up with firework hair instead?) Davin and I get along pretty well. We have our silly moments and I try to play with him as much as I can, but he also has to learn that there is work that I need to do sometimes as well. He sees me all day long, through the good and the bad. I am the one most likely to be the bad guy, the one to say that it is time to go home, not time to have a treat, time to pick up toys, time to go to bed. It really isn’t fair sometimes because I like to be fun. I’m sure that someday when Davin is on his mission, he’ll write me a letter and tell me that I was a great mom and a lot of fun, but for the next eighteen years I’ll have to live with being the one with firework hair.

Comments

Kristi, Liezl, Quincy, Ava, Cora, and Josh said…
It is just not fair is it. I always get the line: "daddy is funner" from Liezl. I am also getting the look from her that says - I can't believe how dorky you are right now. I thought I would have a couple more years until I got that look.
February 28, 2008 at 8:29 AM
camie said…
seriously! joel has loved his dad more than me for forever and it drives me crazy!
February 28, 2008 at 3:25 PM
Anonymous said…
Welcome to motherhood! And it will only get worse, sorry to say. At some point, in their teens, they will at least acknowledge that you are an "okay" mom. But it will be college before you feel like you really are the "best" mom! Diane
February 29, 2008 at 6:37 AM
Stephanie said…
It's so true...everything you said! Max has started saying, "Mommy, you aren't my friend" when he doesn't get his way with me. And of course Renee copies everything Max does saying, "Mommy, you no fren". Oh boy!
March 1, 2008 at 7:58 PM
Summer said…
you make me laugh out loud, Kate. I love how you write! My little guy has been a daddy's boy since six months old. How does that work? He just stares at him and smiles every evening that he's home--it's adorable, but very unfair. also, at least you have firework hair, that sounds exciting. I have spaghetti hair--that's just not.
March 6, 2008 at 7:02 PM
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